Mr & Mrs Bootcamp

August 29, 2014

 

Written and read at our Wedding by Claire West

 

ONE LOVELY APRIL MORNING
WITH THE EARLY SUN IN THE SKY
A BEAUTIFUL LADY CALLED KIM
THOUGHT SHE’D GIVE BOOTCAMP A TRY

 

THERE TOWERED AL, WITH HIS BOOTCAMP STARE
HE DIDN’T EVEN BLINK
A MEAN MACHINE, STOOD ON COLLETT GREEN
WITH A CLIPBOARD OF MANLY PINK!

 

AS KIM DID SQUATS AND BURPEES
IT WAS FITNESS ON HER MIND
SHE NEVER DREAMT THAT THOSE KETTLE BELLS
WOULD ONE DAY BE THE WEDDING KIND

 

BUT, THE MONTHS WENT ON, AND THE FOLLOWING JUNE
CUPID FLEW PAST CAMP FIT
HE FIRED 2 ARROWS INTO THE AIR
AND SCORED A DOUBLE HIT

 

THROUGH THE HEARTS OF KIM AND AL
CUPIDS DARTS DID ZOOM
AND LIKE THE FLOWERS IN COLLETT PARK
ROMANCE BEGAN TO BLOOM

 

THEIR FIRST DATE WAS TO A RESTAURANT IN WELLS
AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE SLIGHT BLIP
WHEN THE WAITRESS ENQUIRED WOULD THEY LIKE SAUCES
ALLAN ASKED FOR SOME TRICEP DIP!

 

MORE DATES WERE HAD AND A FEW MONTHS IN
EXCITING PLANS WERE MADE
A TRIP WAS BOOKED TO THE LAND OF OZ
FROM SYDNEY TO ADELAIDE

 

ONE DAY WHILST SAT OUTSIDE THEIR CAMPERVAN
HAVING A FEW OZZIE BEERS
KIM WANTED TO GET A PRESENT FOR AL
AND HAD ONE OF HER GREAT IDEAS!

 

“AL! – I’VE BOOKED YOU TO SWIM WITH SOME SHARKS”
“IN AUSTRALIA, ITS ALL THE RAGE”
“THERE’S ONLY ONE SLIGHT PROBLEM”
“I FORGOT TO ORDER THE CAGE!”

 

UNDETERRED, OFF WENT AL
BENEATH THE WAVES HE SANK
KIM SWEARS TO THIS DAY THAT WHILE HE SWAM WITH THOSE SHARKS
HE HAD ONE OF THEM DOING A PLANK!

 

IN JUNE LAST YEAR, ON A TRIP TO FRANCE
ALLAN TOOK THE ENGAGEMENT PLUNGE
HE TOOK KIMS HAND AND WENT DOWN ON ONE KNEE
WITH A PERFECTLY EXECUTED LUNGE

 

HE PRESENTED HIS KIM, WITH A LOCK
ON A BRIDGE IN GAY PARIS
ENGRAVED WITH THAT IMMORTAL QUESTION
OF “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

 

WE KNOW HER ANSWER, SHE SAID “I WILL”
OF COURSE THATS WHAT SHE’D SAY
AND WE LOVE THAT ITS A FRIDAY WEDDING
OR WE’D ALL BE AT WORK TODAY

 

WE KNOW THEY MAKE A PERFECT COUPLE
IF ALLAN IS IN A BAD MOOD
KIM DRIVES HIM TO THE CHINESE BUFFET
AND STUFFS HIM FULL OF FOOD

 

AND IF KIM IS EVER FEELING DOWN
AL GETS RID OF THE BLUES
BY PASSING HER HIS CREDIT CARD
AND LETTING HER BUY MORE SHOES!

 

KIM YOU MADE THE EFFORT THAT FIRST BOOTCAMP MORNING
YOU BOTHERED TO GET OUT OF BED
YOU ONLY WENT TO GET YOURSELF FIT
AND NOW YOU’VE GOT YOURSELF WED!

 

ALLAN – WE KNOW YOU HATE CARDIO
BUT TODAY IT HAS ITS PLACE
WHEN YOU FIRST SET EYES ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL BRIDE
YOUR HEART MUST HAVE STARTED TO RACE

 

SO LOOK BACK ON THOSE BURPEES WITH FONDNESS
THEY’VE LED YOU TO BECOME MAN AND WIFE
AND TODAY IS AN EXERCISE IN CELEBRATION
AS YOU START YOUR MARRIED LIFE

 

I HAVE ONE FINAL WORD OF ADVICE TO US ALL
AS WE JOIN IN YOUR SPECIAL DAY
THINK BACK TO WHERE THIS ALL STARTED
AND IF YOU ARE EVER TEMPTED TO SAY

 

“I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO EXERCISE”
“ITS JUST TOO MUCH EFFORT TO START”
JUST TAKE A LOOK AT OUR BRIDE AND GROOM
AND REMEMBER ITS GOOD FOR YOUR HEART

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